Happy Birthday Wishes

Milestone Birthdays

Funny Birthday Wishes 


  • “Happy birthday to my favorite former punk rocker!” (Or: hippie, goth, Valley Girl, grunge rocker)
  • “From one of your favorite bad influences” (Added after the card’s printed “Happy Birthday”)
  • “Hope it’s happier than me at a shoe sale!” (or: spa, bar, coffee shop, beach.)
  • “You get to be the center of attention today! Tomorrow it’s back to me.
  • “Have a martini for me! Or two!” (Or: substitute recipient’s favorite drink.)
  • “I think this is the year you get a pony! JK That’s never.”
  • “Happy birthday to you and your cat! (I know how the cat hates to be left out.)”
  • “May the cake calories go straight to your boobs!”
  • “To quote Shakespeare: ‘Party thine ass off!’”
  • “Dibs on the presents you don’t like!”
  • “You totally don’t look like crap at all!”
  • “I hope all your wishes come true, even the weird ones.”
  • “Sorry there’s no money in here.”
  • “Please stop aging so gracefully. It’s getting kind of boring and predictable.”
  • “Have a great day, you old geezer! (Takes one to know one, right?)”


  • “So sorry these birthday wishes are late reaching you. I hope it was happy!”
  • “Happy Birthday…a little late!”
  • “You’re receiving this NOW and not on your ACTUAL birthday, because I am extremely thoughtful and wanted to be sure the celebration of YOU was not limited to just one day. That is so nice of me, right? Well, you are worth it.”
  • “At least my Happy Birthday text was on time. That counts for something, right? Happy Belated Birthday!”
  • “I don’t know where my mind was, but I forgot your birthday…until now. At least this way I’ll stand out from the crowd when I tell you you’re amazing and awesome. Have a great year!”

For Mom

  • “Happy Birthday, with heartfelt thanks and lots of love, to my wise, wonderful, one-and-only Mom.”
  • “You’re the best, Mom. Love you.”
  • “Wishing a beautiful day for my beautiful Mom.”
  • “The more time goes by, the more grateful I am to have you for my Mom.”
  • “Hope your birthday brings some time to relax, do your favorite things, and remember how much you’re loved.”
  • “I don’t say it enough, but it’s always true: I love you, and I feel so lucky to call you my mom.”
  • “For all the days you’ve made happy for our family…all the ways you make us smile…happy birthday with lots of love.”
  • “Wish I could be there to celebrate with you, Mom. Have fun! Miss you!”
  • “Happy Birthday from your favorite! (I probably don’t even need to sign my name after that, do I?)”
  • “With love from the reason for most of your gray hairs.”
  • “Happy Birthday, Mom. I hope everything about today reminds you how loved and cherished you are.”

For Dad

  • “To my hero…my Dad.”
  • “Birthday and every day, it means so much to have a great Dad like you.”
  • “I really got lucky when I got you for my Dad.”
  • “You’ve always been a great dad, and you’ve become a real friend, too. I love that…and I love you, Dad.”
  • “For lessons you’ve taught…For days you’ve saved…For everything…Thanks, Dad.”
  • “I’ve always been proud of the smart, honest, good man you are—and so very proud to be your son.”
  • “You’re more than a dad. You’re the greatest man I know.”
  • “Happy Birthday, Dad! Hope the sun is shining, and the fish are biting!”
  • “I hope you get a hole-in-one today. If not, just lie and tell me you did anyway. I’ll never know the difference.”
  • “For the man who taught me everything I know. From the kid who paid to attention to roughly half of all you tried to teach.”
  • “You’ll notice this birthday card was NOT sent from prison. I have you to thank for that, Dad.”
  • “Dad, I hope you find a fun way to waste some time on your birthday. You have my permission!”
  • “You deserve a margarita with the good tequila today! And every day. Happy birthday to a top-shelf kind of Dad!”

For a Child

  • “[7] years awesome! That’s you!”
  • “All hail the birthday princess! Have a royally sweet [5th], [Ella]!”
  • “Yay! You’re [4] today! Love you, big [4]-year-old!”
  • “Happy Birthday to our new favorite [6]-year-old!”
  • “[Colette], you’re getting to be such a big [girl]! Happy [3rd] Birthday, Sweetheart. We love you!”
  • “[Elliott]! How can you be [9] already? Why, just yesterday, you were [8]. Oh, well. Have a happy one, birthday boy!”
  • “[Tyler], I’ve got a feeling you’re going to make a pretty amazing [11]-year-old. Happy Birthday!”
  • “Hope this whole exciting year of being [13] kicks off with a very fun, very happy birthday!”